


Shadows

by Kalua



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: (Not quite happy yet but... Hopeful), (Someone give this poor boy a hug seriously), Angst with a Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Pre-Relationship, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24685159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalua/pseuds/Kalua
Summary: The fight had been won, Xehanort defeated, but Vanitas was still there. He'd rather be left alone in the darkness - But Riku feels he could need someone by his side.
Relationships: Riku/Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Shadows

Vanitas scoffed and turned away. The waves hit the beach, their noise almost droning out the sea gulls overhead. Sometimes, Vanitas wished they’d just take him away, pulling him along, maybe far underneath the surface, hidden from anyone and everyone else.

Or that they’d at least drone out the annoying presence right next to him.

“What?” he finally snapped, when it was clear the nuisance wasn’t going to leave him alone.

Riku just shrugged. “Nothing. Just felt like you could use some company.”

“Yeah, right.” Vanitas rolled his eyes. “What are you, my babysitter?”

Riku shrugged again, but kept quiet.

Vanitas shook his head, though he couldn’t help but at least glance at his “company”. Riku’s eyes were fixed on the horizon, as if he were seeing something Vanitas couldn’t.

Vanitas turned away again, focusing on how the waves washed over the sand, dragging smaller seashells away with them while hurling others onto the beach. A never-ending cycle. What looked like change was just more of the same, masquerading as something new.

He was tired of it.

“Where’re you going?” Riku’s voice was gentle. He’d turned away from the ocean, now looking up at Vanitas, who was brushing off some sand that had stained his clothes.

“Somewhere you aren’t.” Vanitas turned his back on Riku and left. He wasn’t quite sure where he was headed, either, just wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else. Not like this island had many places to be.

But at least he could find someplace without the nuisance around. So he headed away from the sea and into the woods, where the trees and bushes would keep him out of view, make him harder to find.

Out of the corner of his eye, Vanitas spotted a tiny shadow following him. One of his Unversed. He groaned and waved his hand, making it disappear. No need to give those precious guardians more reason to keep watch on him. Riku was quiet, at least; Vanitas didn’t even want to imagine having a blabbermouth like Sora glued to his heels.

It was darker underneath the shade of the trees, the fading sunlight barely managing to slip through the leaves. It was cooler here, too, especially after the glaring sun had heated up Vanitas’ dark clothes.

And silent. Some wind rustled in the leaves overhead, but no sea gulls were here, no waves to drone out everything else.

Here, Vanitas was alone with his thoughts.

With the knowledge of how pointless this was.

With the knowledge he shouldn’t even exist.

That he would never be more than Ven’s shadow.

That he’d never be trusted.

That he’d never _been_ trusted.

That he’d never belong anywhere but the darkness.

That even the darkness wasn’t letting him back in right now.

Which meant he didn’t belong anywhere anymore.

Not to Ven. Not to the organization. Not to the darkness.

And why would he? He’d been created as a means to an end.

An end that Xehanort had failed to achieve, twice.

And who would need a tool without a task?

Vanitas barely even noticed that he yelled in frustration, only hearing the faint echo as he hit a tree so hard his hand hurt.

But he heard the footsteps all too clearly.

Vanitas turned away to wipe his face with his sleeve. He wouldn’t show weakness, especially not to a pawn of light.

“What do you want?” Vanitas just barely managed to make his voice sound gruff enough that the break was barely audible. Hopefully, it was hidden so deep Riku didn’t notice at all.

Riku kept some distance. Rightfully afraid, probably. Poor boy shouldn’t soil his light with Vanitas’ darkness. He didn’t leave, though. “You don’t have to go through this alone, you know?”

“Really?” Vanitas scoffed. “You want me to come cry at your shoulder?” Naive little light. So determined to prove himself noble.

Riku shook his head. “I’m just saying that I’ll be here if you want to talk.”

“And what should I talk about, huh?” Vanitas whirled around, fury showing in his eyes—though whether it was directed at Riku or at the world, at all the worlds, he couldn’t say. “How glorious the light is and how blessed I am you’re letting me bathe in yours?”

Riku couldn’t quite contain a chuckle. “I’d probably be worried about your sanity if you did.”

Vanitas shook his head. “Just ‘cause I look like your precious little friend doesn’t mean I’ll start fawning over you like he does.”

“Oh, I know you’re nothing like Sora.”

He was right, of course. Aside from their looks, Vanitas and Sora were different as day and night. Vanitas just hadn’t expected such a quick dismissal. Oh well, at least it made things easier.

But Riku wasn’t done talking yet. “I’ll be here if you want to talk. But I can leave if you’d rather be alone?” He turned around, ready to head back to the beach, probably, or maybe to visit his friends.

“Stay.”

Vanitas was probably even more surprised than Riku was. He was a nuisance, one of light’s little toys, and an annoying one at that. Vanitas didn’t need any company, and especially not his.

And yet, he didn’t want Riku to leave.

Vanitas sat down by a tree and leaned against its trunk, facing away from Riku. He heard Riku settle down as well, possibly leaning against another tree, not too far away.

Somehow, it was easier to not be alone right now.

For a while, they were quiet. The wind was still blowing through the leaves, but neither of them spoke, neither of them needed to speak.

“Why?” Vanitas finally broke the silence.

Vanitas could hear the gras rustle underneath Riku as he shifted in his seat. It took him a moment to answer, but he didn’t ask for clarification.

“Because I know what darkness feels like.”

Vanitas scoffed. “Please, how could you know?”

Of course, he’d heard the stories, and he’d met the replica, but a replica wasn’t the real deal. Just like a shadow wasn’t.

“Didn’t Ansem mention anything?” Riku asked.

“It wasn’t like we talked a lot about our pasts.” Why would they? They were only meant to be vessels, tools to make the old man’s dream come true.

“Huh.” Riku paused, and Vanitas almost wondered whether he’d keep talking at all. “Well, I’ve steered a bit too close to darkness before. Lost myself in it. Thought I could never come back, that I shouldn’t even try. But my friends refused to give up on me, and here I am.”

“So, what, I’m just your little pet project? Save me from darkness, so you can pride yourself what a good guy you are?” Vanitas turned around to glare at his “companion”.

Riku’s striking green eyes met Vanitas’ amber ones. “No. I just believe you’re worth saving, if you want to be.”

For once, Vanitas was at a loss for words. He just scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

But he couldn’t just ignore Riku’s words, either. They’d struck some kind of chord.

He turned back around, facing away from Riku and into the forest.

The sun kept setting, and soon, it was dark. This felt more familiar. The moon and stars didn’t make it through the foliage, so the surrounding area was barely even visible. It suited Vanitas well enough. It’d probably be lighter at the beach.

“Hey, Riku?”

“Yeah?” Riku turned around again to look at Vanitas, who was focused on the darkness all around, the stuff he’d belonged to all his life. It was all he knew. It was all he’d been created to be. He’d never had a place in the light, that was Ventus’ home. Not his. Vanitas was a being of darkness, a stranger to the light.

He turned to face Riku, only his silhouette visible in the shadows. “Do you wanna head back to the beach?”

**Author's Note:**

> Brain wanted me to write this when I was half asleep, so ofc I _had _to the next day. SOmeone give Vanitas a hug. _Please_.__


End file.
